Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

I myself won't be eating turkey since I'm a vegetarian but that's cool that you decided to go with it.
Turkey looks disgusting when its raw!
I think an uncooked turkey could be good defense weapon
just as effective as pepper spray.
If someone were walking down a dark alley after midnight(for whatever reason) and were threatened by a mugger I think the mugger would totally back off if you yelled,
Happy Thanksgiving!
at them.
Then whipped an uncooked thanksgiving turkey at them.
I think the mugger would be especially firghtened by this if you did it on 4th of July.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I kind of want to start biking again.
I haven't ridden a bike since I was in junior high.
I think the reason involves an incident involving projectile vomiting on my sister.
Whatever reason, I think it's time to pick it up again.
Get a bike.
Get a helmet.
NOT projectile vomit on anyone.
But I don't know...
Maybe I'll become too obsessed with it.
Maybe I'll never take off the helmet.
Or even worse, maybe everytime I go into stores I'll hand the helmet to people who work there and say,
Can you wear this while I look around? I don't want people to steal it.
Maybe I'd be the same way with the bike.
I would never park it outside. I would always bring into stores, friends houses/apartments and say things like,
Hey I'm just going to park my bike on your couch a bit so it's not in anyone's way.

I guess there's no way of telling
that's fine because after typing this out, I've come to realize I don't want to start biking again.
It seems like too much of a side project for right now.
Cuteness Alert!!!

I was on a bus the other day
a women sat across from me with her dog on her lap.
She had her dog dressed up in a punky kind of style:
A sweater that had skulls on it.

The dog had a perpetually sad look on its face
for one brief moment, the dog looked at me and smiled then it transformed it's face back to it's constant frown.
I'm pretty sure it was the first time I've ever seen a dog smile.
This is why I award sad-punky-dog the "Cutest Thing I Have Seen This week" award.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Happy Veteran's Day!

Thank you to all of you armed services types!
I don't think I have what it takes to anything army related
I don't want to take the time to find out if I'm wrong about that one.
Watching the war scenes in the movie "Forest Gump" was enough for me!
A woman stopped me on the street today
least tried to stop me on the street today
by saying,
Do you want to stop world poverty today?

That's a large task to ask of someone walking by you on the street
I didn't feel like I was the right person for the job so I just pretended I didn't hear her and kept walking.

It made me wonder if anyone had taken her challenging question of
Do you want to stop world poverty today?
answered it by saying
Sorry I'm a little too drunk to help you solve that one today...

Sunday, November 07, 2010

I've been neglecting my blog.
Time to change that!
I finally ran my first half marathon.
It feels like that happened years ago but it was actually about a month ago(10/10/10 to be exact).
I ran it for charity(as well as for myself) and I'm so glad I did it.
I plan to continue running and will definitely do more half marathons.
If I find I experience no injuries and continue to not find any difficulty in doing them I may make the leap to a full length marathon.
We'll see though.
I'm taking it slow because running isn't something I'm naturally good at.
Some people just have it in their genetics to be fast runners.
Remember those people growing up who ran absurdly fast in gym class or around the neighborhood when you played chase/tag?
Well, I was not one of those people :D
So since I'm not a "natural" I don't want to force too much of it on myself because I don't want my knee, hip or ankle to snap off or something.
I don't think that can actually happen
I'm not taking any chances!

One of the only things I'm naturally good at is comedy.
If I appear to be good at other things it's only because I put an abnormal effort in an OCD fashion at getting better at them.
I'm too tired to remember what else I'm good at right now so I won't bore you with a list.
Do people do that(make lists of what they're good at and post them on the internet)?
I hope not.
Well, I guess you would do that for a resume.
This isn't a resume.
I hope that's not what my blog is turning into.
I have to post more often so it doesn't turn into that.
Have a fun rest of the weekend!