I have something else I want to take back.
Remember a few posts ago when I typed about how I hated a person from my past who said that Trident wrappers were edible?
I decided I don't hate them.
That's fine that they said that.
I also think it's fine that they enjoyed chewing on Trident wrappers.
We all have our quirks.
Who am I to point fingers and be hateful?

Also, I said that I didn't care if you told them that I hated them.
I take that back too.
Now I care.
DON'T tell them that.

It's probably too late though, huh?
I bet you went and told them.
Didn't you?
I knew I couldn't trust you.
Big mouth!
I can't tell you anything.
I hate you now.
We're in a fight now.
I'm not talking to you for weeks.

I take it back, I no longer want to get a ski mask.
They are pretty damn scary looking.
Even when no one is wearing them and they're just lying there.
Also, I wear glasses.
So when I wear a ski mask I look like a dorky bank robber.
I think I'm all set with that.

I wonder who invented gum.
It must have been hard for them to introduce the concept to people:

"It's like a snack, but don't swallow."

Everyone probably made fun of that person for awhile.
Then they got fed up and thought of a snappy comeback to all the gum taunts.
They probably said something like,

"Fine go ahead and chew on your own cud, like a cow.
I'll be over here chewing on this gum I just invented instead.
I'll see you cows later. Moo!".

Then eventually everyone got sick of being mooed at by the gum inventor.
So they were like,

"Fine, jack-ass we'll have a piece. Just stop your mooing."

Then they liked it and it caught on.

I bet gum chewing can turn into a problem for some people.
Like maybe there are people who lose control when handed a pack of gum.
Rather than chew just one piece, they chew all the pieces so their mouth is overfilled with gum.
Then they make important phone calls to people.
But the person on the other end of the phone is like,
"What? I don't understand what you're saying.
Call me back when you have less gum in your mouth."

That would be a huge problem if you did that.
I wouldn't suggest doing that.
I wonder if 20/20 ever ran a story on gum chewing problems like that.
I'm sure they did.
Or, maybe they didn't get to it yet.
Who knows.
Not me.

I don't remember if it was in college or junior high,
but at one of those times someone spread a rumor that the wrappers on Trident gum were edible.
And I listened to them.
I can't believe it.
How could that person do that?
They obviously had a problem.
I hate them.
You can go ahead and tell them that I said that too.
I don't care, go ahead.
I wonder what that person is up to these days...
I bet they're chewing on Trident wrappers still.
and
Still spreading rumors about it.
That's so like them.
Either that or maybe they turned it up a notch and chew on regular paper now.
I bet right now they are in the corner of an art supply store just chewing away on a pack of construction paper.
I wouldn't be surprised.
Then I bet they'll drink some paint from a can to wash it down.
I bet they live in NY too.
That's usually what those kinds of people do.
They move to NY.