Road Kill!
I just saw some kind of road kill when I was driving
that looked like a it had both feathers and fur
and
it was HUGE
and
the fact that I couldn't tell what the hell it was made it all the more scarier.
It seemed like it was part turkey, part fox.
Either that, or it may have just been a feather pillow with a furry pillow case,
and
driving by it fast made it it look like a mutant.

I bet someone who has community service is going to get really creeped out when they have to wear that community service outfit and carry that stick with the sharp thing at the end of it
and
pick up the mutant and/or pillow and put it in a trash bag.
Either that or someone will just pull over pick it up
and
eat it when they get home.
People totally do that!

Skittles!
I just bought a pack of Skittles
and
opened them right when I got out of the store.
I think I did that with too much oomph because all of the Skittles flew/fell
out of the bag
and
a lot of them hit a guy who was standing nearby in the face.
I should have said, "Sorry",
but instead I just stared at him and held my empty bag of Skittles at him
and
thought it would be funny if I said,
"Seriously...let's make out."
But I refrained
and
we just walked away from each other.

I just realized...
that winter is kind of over
and
the reason why some birds may be around is because they already went somewhere exotic
and
just got back.

I mean,
you're a SEAgull!
The word "sea" is in your name.
What the hell are you doing, staying around in the winter.
Are you out of your mind?!
Just go!
If the word "sea" were in my name
and
I had the natural ability to just get up and fly away to some exotic place I'd do it.
I have no respect for you.
I had no respect for you before
but
now I have even less.

Seriously,
if you the had option of:
a) flying to a warm beach in the south
or
b)spending a cold winter on the east coast and surviving by gnawing on stale pita bread in someone's backyard,

Why the hell would you go with option b?