Happy Halloween, Everybody!

I bet there is a person somewhere who hates daylight savings so much that they never bother to turn their clock back an hour.
Every year they get fired from whatever job they have because they show up an hour late on daylight savings and yell,
"F@$# you and f@$% daylight savings!
I don't turn my clocks back an hour!
I don't even own clocks!"

For real:

During my first year of doing comedy, I used to do a character on stage.
I guess you could call that solo sketch comedy, but that sounds too official.
Anywho, when I did that, I used to wear this animal back pack.
His name was George...

I think we're all adults here!

My blog seems like it was written by an 8 year old lately.
I just wanted to take this moment to apologize for that.
Then I wanted to apologize for apologizing,
because there's nothing wrong with that.

Who would save the day!?
This guy:

If elephants were the size of a house cat
and
ran as fast as a cheetah,
they would be scary...

tats!

whenever i'm in a room full of people i don't know,
my first reaction is to seek out anyone with a noticeable tattoo.

a)because tattoos look cool.

b) their tattoo makes a good converstion piece.

I think I've already said this on my blog before...
but
I think birds are adorable, if there is one them.
There were always birds around when I was growing up because my dad used to raise parakeets.
So I'm used to birds,
except wild ones I guess.

When there appears to be hundreds of birds hanging out together
on one tree outside your window,
it's kind of scary.
No matter how happy their simulataneous chirping is,
it seems evil, and like they are chirping amongst themselves about flying full speed into your window
and
attacking you because they noticed you didn't put a bird feeder outside for them.