Friday, January 30, 2009

This morning I caught part of a story about quintuplets on tv.
I'm not sure what channel it was on
I'm going to guess the discovery channel.
I just caught a snippet where they seemed to be labeling the babies with signs that said "boy" or "girl".
It seemed scary to me and made me never want to have children.
Because I imagined myself at a hospital randomly being told,
Guess what, looks like there are 5 possibly 8 babies in your womb! Surprise! We would have told you earlier but you seem to have a rare baby birthing disorder that causes the number of babies you give birth to to be unpredictable! Oh wait a minute looks like the baby count went up to 12!!!!
I wouldn't be able to handle that
would fear that I would lose track of all of the babies except one.
Then as they grew up they would grow to hate me because I forgot all of their names.
They would probably just start robbing banks as a group because they were desperate for attention from anyone that would give it.
I just don't have the time to deal with stuff like that(right now).

Thursday, January 29, 2009

My cell phone creeps me out...
My phone started talking to me yesterday.
It just randomly went into some voice activation mode(which I didn't even know was an option) and started talking.
It automatically pulled out a couple of phone numbers and asked me if I wanted to call them and for my voice approval.
So I kept saying,
Then it kept asking for my approval.
Then I kept saying,
Then more screens kept popping up.
So to solve the problem I turned my phone off
realized that to everyone walking by me on the sidewalk I may have looked a bit crazy
because I was just standing there for quite some time looking at my phone and saying,
to it(loudly) a number of times.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Heart Bandit
This morning I saw a woman walking down the street.
While she was walking she would stop at every snowbank she passed and carve a heart into it with her hand.
She looked like she was trying to be secretive about it
was maybe thinking,
No one will know it was me who drew the hearts! Wha-ha-ha!
But it was no secret because she was carving the hearts in broad daylight.
They were everywhere.

It was clearly a Valentine's Day conspiracy a few weeks too early.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Get with it, people!

I had a really annoying dream last night that I moved to a town that was being terrorized by a crocodile.

The annoying thing about this is that I was the only one in the town who seemed to know what a crocodile was. So I was the only one who was alarmed when I saw it.
No one seemed phased except me.

I kept saying,
Omg! A crocodile!

Then everyone would say,
What are you talking about? What crocodile? What's a crocodile?

Then I'd be like,
That thing over there that's running full throttle towards us and seems like it might kill us when it gets to us!

Then they'd say,
That's ridiculous! I've never heard of such a thing!

Then I'd keep trying to explain but no one got it.
The crocodile kept popping up everywhere.

I went to a store to get a bottled water
it ran in and started knocking things over
again I was like,
OMG! A crocodile is in the store!

And again everyone just said,
What the hell is a crocodile? What are you talking about?


Saturday, January 17, 2009

I went to the movies this week
there was this group of people who entered the theatre in a herd-like fashion
they behaved as though they had never been to a movie theatre before.
One of them said,
Wow, it's dark in here! How are going to find our seat numbers?!
Then another one said,
I'm seat 17 let's just look for that one.
So they appoached a couple who were sitting down and accused them of taking their seats and explaining,
See we have our tickets right here you're in our seats! Seat 17 is ours!
The guy from the seated couple responded by saying,
It's not assigned seating here...also the seats aren't even numbered. They're lettered. This is seat BA, not 17.
The herd of people accepted their misunderstanding and sat down then one of them said,
See this is why I never go to the movies with you guys!

I thought the whole exchange added to my movie experience and made the already awesome movie even better.

The End.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I think...
It's cool that the same kid is still on the front of the box of Farina:

I also think it would be funny if they replaced him with Snoop Dogg just to see if anyone was paying attention.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

After much debate I made a commitment to a new pair of glasses.
As you can see by my very serious face I'm very serious about this:
I've been wearing glasses since kindergarten
every now and then people will ask me,
Are those real glasses?
Which I think is annoying.
Why would anyone wear glasses if they didn't need them?
To be taken more seriously
to create the false illusion that they know how to read?

I think the more effective way to be taken seriously is to always be seen power walking to destinations
to always be heard saying things(loudly) like,
Who the hell is in charge here?!
Does anyone know where the fax machine is? These faxes need to be faxed!!

Serious people are always saying things like that(I bet).

Saturday, January 03, 2009

I think it's time to get a new pair of glasses!

Look how crazy my glasses make me look:


Friday, January 02, 2009

Happy New Year, Everybody!

Hope you're 2009 is a great one.

If you haven't already seen this...
In my teenage years I was pretty serious about becoming a cartoonist/animator.
I thought I'd put this video up on youtube before the vhs tape it was on got lost or damaged.
Check it out it you want.
It's my first attempt at animation.
The footage looks a bit primitive but I thought it might be cool to put it up anyway.
You can find it over here: