Tuesday, June 03, 2014

I appreciate your effort.

A few months ago I was driving down a highway and drove past a large dancing tooth. It was a man or woman dressed up as a tooth and dancing on the road side. It looked like this: 

Their purpose seemed to be to "lure" people off the highway so they would make an appointment at the dentist's office housed directly behind him or her. Or maybe it was to do a walk in exam. It had to be. Why would you bother to lure anyone off of the highway otherwise?

Sometimes in moments of silence, like when I am waiting in a waiting room I will think of the dancing tooth and wonder what they're up to. How did they find out about that job? Was it listed on craigslist? If so, what category did it fall under? ETC or medical? Did the person who got hired have a lot of competition? Or were they hired out of desperation because no one else seemed to want the job? Another part of me worries that maybe they weren't initially hired as a dancing tooth. Maybe it was sprung on them after many years of working as a receptionist. One day it was just announced out of nowhere: Hey Roxie! New policy at our dentist's office. Receptionists will now twilight as our mascot, the dancing tooth! Certainly people will get excited about having their teeth drilled after seeing a human being dressed as a dancing tooth on the side of the highway!
And that was that, Roxie had no choice in the matter.

I wonder if the dancing tooth idea has been successful. Has anyone actually walked in and made an appointment after seeing it? Hey you guys! Just saw the dancing tooth! It reminded me about how my teeth are rotting away! So off course I immediately swerved off the highway to finally make a dentist appointment!

I just hope the dancing tooth is happy. That's all. That's the blog post.

Monday, June 02, 2014

We've all got something...

I go to Whole Foods once a week. I don't go food shopping there. I just go there once a week and buy one or two items. I'll just power walk over to what I need, grab it, pay for it and then get the hell out of there. If I could I would sprint to what I needed but I can't due to a back issue I've been having. I haven't been able to run in 3 months and have been going to physical therapy for this. I had never even been to physical therapy before. Not being able to run is driving  me crazy(by the way). So much so that I felt the need to post this rambling post on my blog.  But this is all I will tell you about not being able to run because if I tell to your more about this I won't be able able to do it without raising my voice and I'll probably develop a high blood pressure problem. I'm going to assume all high blood pressure problems are caused by people not being able to run. I don't care if I'm wrong in assuming that. I'm going to assume it anyway and call it a fact(in my head). Also, going to physical therapy for the first time is awesome and comical but I'm not ready to discuss it right now. So leave me be.

Anyway, back to Whole Foods. I'm ready to discuss THAT. I power walk to the 1 or 2 items instead of sprint to them,  then power walk to the register instead of sprint to it, then power walk to the parking lot instead of sprint to it. It's a practice of self control. Do I have what it takes to just buy 1 or 2 items? USUALLY!
But I've had my moments where I've lost control in there and bought SEVERAL items. So many that someone could have easily mistaken me for someone who was going full throttle food shopping at Whole Foods. Which is not practical for me at this stage in life. I'm not sure I ever want it to be either. I like my "power walk and flee the scene" system. It suits me. I love Whole Foods. LOVE it. But I think it's best for me to have quick moments with it.

One time I went to Whole Foods and a girl was riding an exercise bike at the entrance and greeting everyone as they entered end exited. Why was she doing this? I don't know. And you know what? I don't even want to know! Did she work there? Probably! Was she a mentally unstable gal who took the liberty of bringing her own exercise bike to Whole Foods and greeting each and every one of their customers? I hope so! That would be a much better story.

That's it you guys. That's my blog post for the day. I feel a lot better. Hope all is well.