Thursday, October 13, 2011

I ran my 1st marathon!

I ran the Chicago Marathon on Sunday(10/9/11) and finished! I still can't believe I actually went through with this and of all places to end up going through with it, I went with Chicago. I had never been to Chicago before, so that and the fact that this was my 1st marathon made it very exciting.

I was worried that waiting to get across the start line would take forever since there were so many people running, but it actually wasn't as bad as I thought. Here's a picture of the scene of waiting to actually start:

Now a marathon is 26.2 miles but I'm going to be honest, I think I may have totally walked 3 or 4 of those miles. I had heard stories of people collapsing and dying while or after running a marathon so I decided to take it easy when I felt like it was hot out(I don't run well in the heat). I had also heard a story of someone dying in a marathon from over hydrating. I felt like I had been drinking too much water once I hit the 20 mile mark so I got paranoid and walked again. Sadly, someone did collapse and die in this marathon which is horrible, sad and scary. Then on another note, a pregnant woman apparently ran and finished then gave birth to a baby after(crazy!).

Here's a pic of me crossing the finish line(I'm the one with the yellow tank top and white visor):

After crossing the finish line we were all given a medal:

a silver shimmery cape to wear as well as a beer(it's a great recovery drink, no joke). Sometimes dreams come true! I loved that I walked down Michigan Ave(which seems to be a pretty central street in Chicago) wearing my silver cape and drinking my beer and no one questioned it! :D

Overall, I had a wonderful experience and am glad I did it! It gave me an excuse to not only complete a marathon, but to also catch up with friends, meet new people and check out a city I had never been to before.

My finishing time was 5:17(and something seconds). Maybe I'll have to do another marathon and be sure to run the whole thing to see if I finish a bit quicker ;-)

Thanks, Chicago!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Gross Fake Diner

Going to a diner in my dream the other night made me wake up an hour later then I meant to wake up in the morning.
That's what I get for going to a strange uninviting diner to grab some coffee(in my dream).
Everyone who worked there was rude.
I hadn't even asked for coffee and they had already started yelling,
We only sell hot dog related foods here!
I should have heeded their blunt warning yell and left but for some reason in the dream I was idiotically determined to prove these people wrong.
Oh they'll have my coffee even though they claim to have only hot dog related foods here!

So I went to the counter and said,
Do you guys have coffee?

To which they replied,
Is coffee made from hot dogs? No! But we can put hot dogs in a blender for you.

I should have left after that but again I stayed and tried to "fight" for coffee.
I did this by asking again and again for it. Then I went so far as to challenge everyone who worked at the diner to an arm wrestling match. I lost all of the matches to all of them.
After I lost I said,
The only reason you all beat me was because I need coffee. I would have beaten all of you if I had just had a cup of coffee!

They answered me back by saying,
The reason we all beat you was because we ate our hot dog related food!

It went back and forth like this until I woke up and looked at my clock and saw that I had woken up an hour later
realized I had stumbled across the worst excuse for being late for something.

Why am I late?
Because I went to a new diner in my dream to grab coffee and they wouldn't give it to me because they claimed they only had hot dog related foods. I argued with the people in my dream for an hour. If they had just given me my coffee in the dream I would have been here on time,

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I look pretty different when I'm wearing


and not wearing my glasses.

Saturday, August 06, 2011


For those who asked, here are some places you can catch me doing a shorter set:

Sunday 8/7
Improv Boston in Central Square in Cambridge.
9pm show

Friday 8/12
The Comedy Studio in Harvard Square in Cambridge
8pm show

Sunday 8/28
Improv Boston in Central Square in Cambridge
9pm show

I may or not add some of the others but for now stop on by one of these
make sure you say, hi.

If you have any questions send them here:


Sunday, June 05, 2011

Damn you, Trivia Pursuit!!!

I never play Trivia Pursuit but had forgotten why or if there even was a reason for it.
Today I made an attempt at it after a 6 year hiatus.
Suddenly it all came back...
There's something about that game that makes me angry. VERY angry.
Competing for the "priviledge" of getting a piece of plastic pie with the hopes of eventually having a whole pie?!
I hate it. I don't know why. I just do.
And I'm not just saying that because I NEVER know the answers to any of the questions. OK!

I ususally start swearing like a truck driver after one minute into the game.
After 5 minutes I usually feel driven to turn to drinking.

Everyone else LOVES Trivia Pursuit though.
Someone always tosses out some story like,

One time we played Trivia Pursuit ALL night then we realized it wasn't night anymore because the sun came up!!!!!
I can't get enough of this game!!!! It brings me SO much joy!

I could complain more but I'll end it here.
I think you've all gotten the point.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

The Rejection Bin
Wow, I guess that's pretty weird that I talked about jogging for 2 posts in a row on here.
I've been writing today. Here is something that will not end up in my stand-up so I just thought I'd drop it on here.

Monday, May 30, 2011


I ran(jogged) my second half marathon yesterday.

It was awesome to run through the streets and neighborhoods of Boston I normally drive or walk through along with thousands of other runners. I was running at a decent pace until the heat finally got to me at the 8th mile so I slowed it down quite a bit. I think I had a final time that was 7 or 8 minutes slower than when I ran the Boston Half Marathon(via Dana Farber) back in October on account of the heat getting to me a little but it's all good. At this point I'm still shocked that I can run these things because I always have flashbacks to when I was a kid and couldn't even run ONE mile to pass the physical fitness test at school.

I'm also really excited that I haven't haven't had any injuries. Hopefully it will stay that way as a I continue to train for the full length Chicago Marathon I will be running(jogging) in October!

Hope you are all having a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!
Much respect to all you Veterans/Soldiers!
I appreciate what you do(or did).
I don't know how you do it!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

So I bought new running sneakers today because when I was training for my first half marathon in the fall, I had heard/learned that you are supposed to buy a new pair after running about 400 miles.
I can't wait to try them out/break them in tomorrow.
This pair I got today is my second pair of "serious" running sneakers.
They are very comfortable but I'm feeling a little weird about replacing my old ones.
I feel like both pairs of sneakers can't be in the same room at the same time...
Also my new pair is a different brand than my old one.
When I had bought my first pair, I bought a brand called Mizuno which I had never heard of but they turned out to be fantastic.
Then I did some research on them and it turned out they were a very reputable brand.
The brand I have now is Asics which I had heard of back in high school but have never worn until now. They were very comfortable when I ran/tried them on at the store.
I'm still feeling weird about the brand switch though...

What I think this really comes down to is it is FAR more fun to say the word "Mizuno"
than it is to say the word "Asics".
All the sentences before these three were probably unnecessary...

Friday, May 06, 2011

You know what's weird?
When you're walking down a a quiet street and suddenly someone you don't know drives by you on a 4 wheeler
waves at you as they drive by.
Well, I guess it's not that weird.
In all honesty, if I drove about town on a 4 wheeler I think I'd wave to everyone I passed by too...

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

This morning I walked by a house that had a bright pink cardboard sign in front of it that said,

Whoever took my scooter, you better give it back!

It was written in sharpie or magic marker.
I have a feeling that that person will not be getting their scooter back.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

I woke up early this morning
wrote an entry in my diary(to let some steam out!):

I think I may have gotten carried away because I found random ink splatter from my pen on nearby surfaces.
It reminded me of the time I once got carried away when brushing my teeth
ended up poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush.

I guess some things never change...

Monday, May 02, 2011

So, I'm back to running(jogging)longer distances to prep for a half marathon I'll be running(jogging) in at the end of the month.
Yesterday I did 12 miles and I'm not sore from that which I think is because I've been doing a half hour of beginners ashtanga yoga everyday from a dvd I have. It's been very helpful. Doing both the running(jogging) plus yoga has become something I enjoy instead of a task and I find that it makes me very less neurotic.

I guess it takes a twelve mile run(jog) and yoga to rid myself of anxiety and rage ;-)

Now back to writing some comedy...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Wendy Liebman's annual comedy benefit is coming up.
This year it will be on Thursday April 21st at the Somerville Theatre(in Somerville).
I'll be one of the comedians performing on it!
Great line-up that includes: Chris Tabb, Mike McDonald, Jonathon Katz, Jimmy Tingle and others(plus me thrown in somewhere).
Here's a link with more info:

Here's a link for the Somerville Theatre:

Come on out!
It's for a good cause!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

What happened to Sonja?!?!

When I was in junior high I had a pen pal named Sonja. She was from Germany.
I started being her pen pal as an assignment through my 6th grade history class.
I was reminded of Sonja recently and realized I had saved all of her letters because we didn't email one another, we actually wrote out letters and mailed them to one another.
So I read all of them(because I can be crazy like that).
Based on her letters I apparently asked her a lot of questions because she frequently says,
"Valerie, I will try to answer all of your questions but you ask so many of them..."
I also apparently yapped on and on about Garfield(the cartoon/comic strip) a lot because in one of her letters she says,
"Yes, Valerie to answer your question, which I think you've asked me a few times, we do have Garfield in Germany..."
Sonja and I appeared to have written to one another for a span of 2-3 years.
I don't remember why we stopped writing to one another or whether it was her or me who stopped writing but based on her letters she seemed like a lovely person.
I'm going to guess that she stopped writing to me because she got sick of me asking her about Garfield ; )

Wherever you are Sonja, I hope you're doing ok!

Thursday, April 07, 2011

My comedy has changed quite a bit over the last 6 or 7 years
I think it's because these days I'm a lot...happier.
That makes a huge difference in my writing.
I don't think that this detail makes me less funny
it might make me less "edgy".
There is nothing wrong that(I THINK).

Friday, March 04, 2011

So, about a month ago I registered to run in the Chicago Marathon.
I'm really excited(and horrified about this).
This will be my first time running a full length marathon
my first time going to Chicago(except for when I waited at the airport there many times for lay overs in my flights in my comedy travels).
I haven't decided if I will be running this for charity or just running it for myself.
When I ran a half marathon in October here in Boston, I did it it for charity(Dana-Farber).
I'm thinking it might be wise(for me) to not run the Chicago Marathon for charity just in case something happens(like I pass out in the middle or end of it).
If that were to happen I would be the charity case!
So I think I'm just going run for the sake of running and for the the sake of doing something I never thought I was capable of doing.
If the world is indeed going to end on 2012 I need to get things like running a marathon out of the way!

I'm looking forward to doing this as well as some other running events I'll be doing here in Boston with friends(a 5k race and another half marathon).

As always, my goal is to:
a) NOT come in last place
b)NOT projectile vomit on anyone
c) NOT fall over and die.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I sat near a guy on the T(Boston's version of a subway) yesterday who was sketching on his notepad.
It reminded me of myself when I was a teenager and thought I was going to pursue a career in art.
At that time I was to shy to attempt anything like stand-up and it was a struggle for me to even muster up the courage to audition for a school play.
So the way I'd "put on show" back then was to just sketch drawings in my sketchbook in public.
I noticed that if you did this people would sometimes gather around you and watch you like an audience and you didn't even have to talk.
I first discovered this phenomenon when I took drawing classes at the Museum of Fine Arts and I did my sketching outside one day. A group of people gathered around me and watched me draw.
I remember thinking,
Wow, I wish this were my job. To just draw pictures in front of an audience.
I ended up not pursuing art as my career because not to long after that I started writing stories for my classes in school and getting room fulls of people to laugh at them.
When this starting happening, I began to think,
Wow, I wish this were my job to write things and say or read them in front of rooms full of people and make them laugh.
I was able to make that a reality through doing stand-up.
I chose to make art my hobby.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Yesterday one of the papers said that we are expecting 13.1 inches of snow
the other day I signed up for another half marathon which is 13.1 miles.
This must mean...nothing!