Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Cell phones

When people switch cell phone numbers is their old number abandoned forever?
Or is it just passed on to someone else who is getting their new cell phone?

I woke up last night, asking myself these very important questions
knew i would not be able to fall back asleep until I found my answers
because it's things like this that haunt me.

After dialing my abandoned cell phone number, I got the answers I was looking for.
My number seems to have been passed on to a guy with a manly voice.
Rather than tell him my real reasons for calling, I just lied and said,
"Oh I totally have the wrong number..."

I think it would have creeped him out if I said,
"Dude! It's me, Val! How do you like this number? It used to be mine! I hope you're liking it."

So if you ever had any questions about where cell phone numbers go,
now you know.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Straight to DVD nightmare #2:
Every once in awhile I have a nightmare
it's one of those nightmares that seems scary while you're dreaming it but then when you wake up you feel embarrassed that you were scared by it in your sleep.
Last night I had one of those.
I dreamt that I was on my way down to a basement to do some laundry but I realized I needed to go back upstairs to get some detergent.
For some reason I went to the refrigerator and opened it. It was filled with detergent.
I began to panic.
I ran to a corner in the kitchen
started crying(out of fear)
then I yelled,
I don't recognize any of these brands!
I mustered up some courage then walked back to the fridge and grabbed of bottle of detergent. I walked back down to the basement.
My heart began to beat rapidly
because I noticed that both the washing machine and dryer were running although I hadn't turned them on yet...
A strange bright light was shining from them as though they were pocessed.
I was scared to approach them because I feared the light would cause me to get an unnatural tan.
I'm not one to go tanning but if I do get a tan I want it to be a natural one from the sun.
I decided I needed to put on some sunblock before approaching the washer and dryer.
So I applyed the detergent because the unrecognizable brand that it happened to be was:
SPF 6000.
When I finally got to the washer a comedian I didn't know jumped out of it and asked me if he could try a joke out on me.
I told him that he couldn't because I was busy doing my laundry.
I then looked down and noticed he was wearing socks that didn't match...
I started screaming in terror
dropped my SPF 6000 laundry detergent bottle on the floor.
It spilled everywhere.
That was when I woke up
remembered I had already down my laundry the day before.
This made me feel thankful.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Newspaper storm!
Yesterday, started out as a sunny day until I drove on the highway
the sky suddenly became overcast with creepiness:

As I drove further along I noticed that the highway was being terrorized by flying newspapers. I attempted to take pictures of this but was highly unsuccessful because I didn't want to cause a car accident.
This is all I was able to capture
post on my blog to share with you:

It was a lot more dramatic than the pictures would suggest.
I feel lucky to have survived.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Wrong number
Whenever someone calls me and it turns out to be the wrong number,
they never reveal this to me by asking for someone other than me.
My wrong number peeps reveal they are calling the wrong number by revealing what appears to be a secret.
Most of my wrong number conversations go something like this:

Me: Hello?
Wrong number person: I did it...
Me: Hmmmm.
Wrong number person: Hmmmmm?!
Me: Yeah.
Wrong number person: Who is this?!
Me: Who's this?
Wrong number person: I think I have the wrong number.
Me: I think you have the wrong number too.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Earlier this morning I caught a news story on tv.
I watched this before I drank my usual tub of morning coffee so maybe I'm getting it wrong...
But basically the story was about a woman who was a mayor
there were photos of her on the internet
wearing a bathing suit that showed off her well toned body.
Everyone in her town seemed outraged by this and acted as though she had broken the law in a very shocking way.
Many were quoted as saying things like,
This just doesn't happen in our town!
I guess the woman isn't mayor anymore because of her "shocking" photos.
I just don't get why everyone flipped out about this.
If I lived somewhere where the mayor had photos of herself on the internet looking fit and was asked to give a quote about it, I would have been quoted as saying,
Good for her! She looks like she can do a chin-up. I like my people in charge to look like they don't lounge on the couch all day.

Maybe I got the story wrong though.
Maybe there was a huge chunk I missed that talked about her putting the photos up on the interent because she was whoring herself out like a prostitute.
Like I said, I watched the story early and without having my daily dose of caffeine...