Jail diva?

I was in the corner of a gift store yesterday reading a book filled with pick-up lines
and
laughing out loud while doing this.
I kind of hoped I would randomly cross paths with someone I knew.
Then when they said,
Hey what's up?
I could pretend to be very serious and say,
Not much. I'm just studying up.

I killed a bug this morning that looked like this:

by sucking it up in a dustbuster.
Nature is obviously conspiring against me.