Hope you're all having a great Memorial Day weekend!
While I have your attention I just wanted to tell you that the disposable dvd camera has been invented.
This happened awhile ago.
I didn't even know that that happened though.
It has though.
I thought you should know that(if you didn't already).
Carry on.
Val Kappa is a stand-up comic and artist who has appeared on Comedy Central and was the voice of Clarice on the cult cartoon "Home Movies". These are random things that she typed. All material Copyright 2004-2017 Val Kappa. All Rights Reserved.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
25 cents
25 cents you can get a gum ball
or
a ride on a mechanical horse in front of a department store.
Today I had the opportunity to have both of these things.
Instead, I kept on walking and went with neither.
I'm considering going back with a lot of quarters
and
getting a lot of gum balls and chewing them all at once.
Then running to the mechanical horse and putting quarter after quarter into it so I spend a whole day riding on it
and
being the envy of everyone.
I better think it over though.
25 cents you can get a gum ball
or
a ride on a mechanical horse in front of a department store.
Today I had the opportunity to have both of these things.
Instead, I kept on walking and went with neither.
I'm considering going back with a lot of quarters
and
getting a lot of gum balls and chewing them all at once.
Then running to the mechanical horse and putting quarter after quarter into it so I spend a whole day riding on it
and
being the envy of everyone.
I better think it over though.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Egg Smashing
I haven't posted anything in awhile...
I celebrated Easter(the Greek one) yesterday with my family.
One thing that happens during this is the smashing of Easter eggs to determine who will have good luck.
Everyone grabs an easter egg. Then you tap eggs with the person sitting next to you. The person whose egg doesn't crack is the lucky one. You keep going around the table tapping eggs until only one person is left with an uncracked egg.
This year I was the winner.
I wonder what would have happened if I had jumped out of my chair and started screaming, then spiked the egg to the floor as though I had just scored a touched down.
Would my egg cracking from that incident strip me of my lucky title?
I haven't posted anything in awhile...
I celebrated Easter(the Greek one) yesterday with my family.
One thing that happens during this is the smashing of Easter eggs to determine who will have good luck.
Everyone grabs an easter egg. Then you tap eggs with the person sitting next to you. The person whose egg doesn't crack is the lucky one. You keep going around the table tapping eggs until only one person is left with an uncracked egg.
This year I was the winner.
I wonder what would have happened if I had jumped out of my chair and started screaming, then spiked the egg to the floor as though I had just scored a touched down.
Would my egg cracking from that incident strip me of my lucky title?
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
No Smoking
I think it's odd that on airplanes they always announce that
"There is NO smoking allowed on THIS flight".
Isn't that common sense?
Are there any flights where smoking is allowed?
My guess was that there was once a flight where someone showed up and started chain smoking.
A flight attendant told that person to stop because everyone was having a hard time breathing and the clouds of smoke were really annoying.
The person then refused to put out the cigarettes because he doesn't like to be told what to do.
But then after shouting at everyone for awhile he lost his voice.
But then just before he lost his voice he was able to barely utter the words:
"Fine I'll stop"
Then he did stop, but then he ate the rest of his cigarettes just to spite the people who told him to stop.
This caused him to vomit on everyone.
After that happened they probably decided it would be best to just make the
"no smoking on THIS flight announcement".
I think it's odd that on airplanes they always announce that
"There is NO smoking allowed on THIS flight".
Isn't that common sense?
Are there any flights where smoking is allowed?
My guess was that there was once a flight where someone showed up and started chain smoking.
A flight attendant told that person to stop because everyone was having a hard time breathing and the clouds of smoke were really annoying.
The person then refused to put out the cigarettes because he doesn't like to be told what to do.
But then after shouting at everyone for awhile he lost his voice.
But then just before he lost his voice he was able to barely utter the words:
"Fine I'll stop"
Then he did stop, but then he ate the rest of his cigarettes just to spite the people who told him to stop.
This caused him to vomit on everyone.
After that happened they probably decided it would be best to just make the
"no smoking on THIS flight announcement".
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