I used to own huge flourescent pink earmuffs when I was a kid.
They were so huge that everytime I wore them people would laugh and say,
"Damn, those are what I call earmuffs!."

Then I would pretend I couldn't hear them.

I think the only way the earmuffs could have more obnoxious is if they played music
and
I blared it
and
was always breakdancing when I wore them.

Why am I telling you this?
I'm considering buying a new obnoxious pair and wearing them whenever I ride on public transportation.