Old school!
I spent the first half of today unintentionally providing entertainment to folks who work at local stores.
How did I do this?
By showing up, then asking,
"Hey do you guys know where the cassette players are?".

The common response to this question was a confused look followed by:
"You mean like an old school boom box?".

My reply:
"Not a full throttle boom box. Just a small crappy portable cassette player."

This was then followed by my questionee, calling for some back up:
"Hey! Anyone know if we sell half-assed-old school boom boxes?".

This was followed by more confusion amongst the staff as they talked amongst themselves to explain and confirm to each other what a half-assed-old school boom box was.

This was then followed by one person in the group asking:
"Why do you need a half-assed-old school boom box?"

My reply:
"Long story."

In conclusion,
the half-assed-old school boom box seemed to be unavailable for purchase.