I got a parking ticket the other day
because
I was allegedly parked too far away from the curb.
Whatevs.
I'm glad that I'm not the person who does the ticket giving.
Being a comedian is a more suitable job for me
because
if I were a ticket giver I would just let all the parking violations slide by
and
instead leave a post-it note on people's windshields that said:
Dude, you need to get your sh@$ together. Seriously.

Also,
although this drink looks like contaminated swamp water,
it is very good
and
slightly addictive: