Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Bad apartment sitter...

Last night I had a dream that I was apartment sitting for a friend.
The apartment was in the city
and
I drove to it and parked my car in a questionable place
and thought,
"I hope I don't get towed..."
When I got into the apartment I opened a window.
It turned out there was an uncaged parrot in the apartment.
As soon as it saw the open window it flew right out of it since the window had no screen.
The parrot happened to be holding a tv remote control in it's talons so it flew off with it.
I got worried that my friend would notice her remote control was missing,
rather than the parrot.
I looked out the window and could see the questionable place where I had parked my car.
It was no longer there.
Instead a police car was parked there.
I went outside and left the apartment door open.
The cop told me he had towed my car and it was on it's way to India
and
would be hard to get back.
I went back inside the apartment and tried to call the towing company in India
but
they took forever to take my call.
While I was waiting a group of guys dressed like Rambo came storming into the apartment carrying machine guns.
It was easy for them to get in since I forgot to close the door behind me.
They started to randomly shoot their machine guns and knock over furniture.
One of them did a back flip and cartwheel for no apparent reason.
Another one looked at me
and
yelled,
"We're mercenaries and we need quarters to do our laundry! Give us all of your quarters!"
I got annoyed and told them to shut up because I was waiting to talk to someone at a towing company in India.
They stopped shooting their guns and waited.
When I finally talked to the towing company they told me that they were sorry but they couldn't give me my car back
but
to make it up to me they would just mail me a scooter.
I decided that was a fair trade and hung up.
When I got off the phone the mercenaries started shooting their machine guns again and yelling about giving me all my quarters again.
I yelled back at them and said,
"I don't have any fu@#ing quarters! All I have are 4 $100 dollar bills!".
They stopped shooting their machine guns
and
apologized.
I told them it was ok.
Then they left the apartment.

3 comments:

Zhaf said...

If I ever have mercenaries break into my apartment and start breaking things, I'd rather they were the polite kind who would wait until I was finished with my phone conversation and could apologize for themselves before leaving. Too funny.

Jerell said...

Bad dream or first draft for a future Michel Gondry film?

Val said...

zhaf: Thanks :)

jerell: hmmmm...