Someone in my neighborhood was cutting down a tree with a chainsaw today.
That will never be a goal of mine.
The closest I've ever come to cutting down a tree with a chainsaw was this one time when I tryed to cut a piece of bread off of a a stale loaf of bread with a huge knife.
It didn't work out...
It made me realize that the lumber industry wasn't a career that I was made for.
Val Kappa is a stand-up comic and artist who has appeared on Comedy Central and was the voice of Clarice on the cult cartoon "Home Movies". These are random things that she typed. All material Copyright 2004-2017 Val Kappa. All Rights Reserved.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
The other night before I left NY, I grabbed some food with my friend.
While we were eating a little girl was running around tables barefoot
and
only wearing a diaper.
She then started screaming when she came to a wall and looked as though she were trying to scale it.
Now I don't know how old this little girl was but she looked as though she had passed the "wearing diapers and running around naked and screaming" stage of life.
I made a mental note to myself, and decided that in the rare event I have a child,
I'm always going to make sure it wears clothes
because if I had a child and it suddenly started running around a restaurant naked and screaming,
I don't think I would know how to handle that situation...
While we were eating a little girl was running around tables barefoot
and
only wearing a diaper.
She then started screaming when she came to a wall and looked as though she were trying to scale it.
Now I don't know how old this little girl was but she looked as though she had passed the "wearing diapers and running around naked and screaming" stage of life.
I made a mental note to myself, and decided that in the rare event I have a child,
I'm always going to make sure it wears clothes
because if I had a child and it suddenly started running around a restaurant naked and screaming,
I don't think I would know how to handle that situation...
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
For some reason whenever I take the bus between NY and Boston
I always sit near someone who offers me things.
This ride I got offered a lot of chips by a friendly guy sitting next to me.
"No thanks, I think I'm all set."
I told him after he held his neverending bag of chips in my face,
again and again.
I think the next time I ride the bus, I'll carry a huge jug of apple juice,
and walk up and down the aisle offering everyone a sip.
I wonder if anyone would go for it...
I always sit near someone who offers me things.
This ride I got offered a lot of chips by a friendly guy sitting next to me.
"No thanks, I think I'm all set."
I told him after he held his neverending bag of chips in my face,
again and again.
I think the next time I ride the bus, I'll carry a huge jug of apple juice,
and walk up and down the aisle offering everyone a sip.
I wonder if anyone would go for it...
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