Friday, October 28, 2005

Halloween is such a fun holiday.
I love dressing up every year, and going to parties.

I bet there are people who refuse who refuse to let go of trick or treating.

If I live to be really old I want to start going trick or treating again,
demand candy.

The candy giver will be like,
"Aren't you about 90yrs too old for this?

Then maybe I'll accuse them of hating the elderly,
and tell them to give me candy to erase the pain of their discrimination.

When asked what my costume is,
I would say,
"I'm a junior high girl from the 90's who is outraged that "My So Called Life" got cancelled."

Then they would be like,
"Oh but it kind of looks like you're dressed up like a panda bear..."

Then I would demand candy again to wash away the pain of them thinking my panda bear costume doesn't look like a a junior high girl from the 90's who's outraged that
"My So Called Life" got cancelled.

Monday, October 24, 2005

I did a fun show at Drake University in Iowa on Saturday.
Thanks to everyone who came out to the show!
Thanks to SAB for swindling everyone into going!

I love traveling and doing shows it's one of my favorite things.
But for some reason whenever I take an airplane, I always seem
to sit next to someone who falls asleep then ends up leaning on me and snoring.
This person never wakes up no matter how many time I punch them in face.
Just kidding, I wouldn't do that...
But serously no matter how many times I punch them they never wake up.
Instead they just start snoring louder.
When they finally wake up they're always startled and say,
"Was I leaning on you the whole trip?"
Then I'm like, "Yeah."
Then they're like,"Well why didn't you say something?!"
Then I'm like,"Because I think I've fallen in love with you..."

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Either that or they would honk their horn at me
and start cursing at me because they would think I'm an idiot.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I admire people who go jogging in public.
They seem so focused and like they don't care what people think.
That's awesome, keep running.
I want to start running in public,
but only for 4 feet.
I'll run really fast for that 4 feet.
Then raise my arms up in the air when I'm done.
When cars drive by and see me doing that I bet they'll think I just won a running race,
and honk their horn to congratulate me on my victory.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

If you did show up for an interview wearing Flip Flops
they did hire you,
then that would mean that you just found the best job ever.
Maybe you should wear Flips Flops to an interview.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I don't think there is such a thing as Flip Flop season.
So, that last post was obviously pointless.
What the hell was I trying to pull?!
The only thing I can tell you about Flip Flops is:

Don't show up for a job interviews wearing them.

You probably won't get hired.

Monday, October 10, 2005

I think Flip Flop season might be over.
It may have ended awhile ago, but I'm not sure.
I don't know the rules of fashion very well.
I know there is some rule about not wearing white after Labor Day.
But what if your Flip Flops are orange?
Where the hell does that fit into the system!?
Maybe Columbus Day is the cut off day for Flip Flops.
I'm doing to pretend it is, even if it isn't.

Flip Flop season is over!

Friday, October 07, 2005

Or maybe the full moon thing would reveal something about the person you're walking with.
Maybe after you said,
"Look at the full moon!"
They would say,
"Full Moon! This is the perfect time for me to put on my magic cloak and put spell on you. Wha ha ha!".

Then maybe from that you might be like,
"I think I'm good to go. Have a nice night now!"
Then quickly run away.

Or maybe none of those things would happen.
Maybe you would just walk down the street with your new friend,
and be very happy about it.

Have a great weekend
Thanks for reading this!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The full moon plan might backfire though.
Be careful.
You could be walking down the street with your friend then say,
"Look, a full moon!"
Then your friend might think,
"Why is she so excited about a full moon? That's really creepy. I bet she's a wolf."
Then your friend will say,
"I see what's going on here!",
then power walk away from you or something.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

One of my favorite things about a full moon, is that if you happen to be walking down the street with someone you just met and there seems to be a lull in conversation, and it feels awkward, you can just point and say,

"Look, a full moon!"

Then things seem less awkward, as you both take notice of the full moon and point at it.