Oh yeah...
So I know last night was the super bowl
and
I know the Patriots won.
But I don't really care.
Every year I try to watch the super bowl and try to act excited about it.
I can't do it.
I think it's great that people play football and I respect that they do that.
But I just have a hard time watching it because I always feel concerned for all the players.
If I played football(and NEVER will), I would demand that more protective gear be used.
I wouldn't step onto a football field unless I was wearing a suit of armor
and
it was made clear that no one was allowed to knock me over.
Helmets aren't enough.
This ends my insightful discussion of the super bowl.
Val Kappa is a stand-up comic and artist who has appeared on Comedy Central and was the voice of Clarice on the cult cartoon "Home Movies". These are random things that she typed. All material Copyright 2004-2017 Val Kappa. All Rights Reserved.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Today I'm in Duluth, MN.
There is a view of Lake Superior from my hotel room which is really cool.
Still no sign of leaping deer.
But I saw a tire from someone's car on the side of the road.
Then as I kept on driving I saw more car parts on the road.
This makes me think that something tragic happened, that involved a leaping deer,
or some other leaping animal like a lion.
Maybe not though I don't think Duluth is a lion town.
Whenever I meet people out here the first thing I ask them is if they've ever had a deer incident.
Almost everyone I've met has.
But to them it's not a big deal, and they think it's funny that I'm so fascinated with their deer stories.
Friday's show was a lot of fun.
I performed at Concordia College in Moorhead,MN.
I was kind of worried about the show at first because I was told that the show was going to be held at a chapel and that students might be sensitive to certain material.
But when I got to the college it turned out the chapel was very un-chapel like.
There were no crosses, priests, or nuns there.
Everyone at the school told me that just about all of the performers who come to their school get freaked out when they are told that the show is at a chapel.
When I did my hour I cursed like I normally do, and do everything that I normally do
but
I just didn't do my new cock jokes.
There is a view of Lake Superior from my hotel room which is really cool.
Still no sign of leaping deer.
But I saw a tire from someone's car on the side of the road.
Then as I kept on driving I saw more car parts on the road.
This makes me think that something tragic happened, that involved a leaping deer,
or some other leaping animal like a lion.
Maybe not though I don't think Duluth is a lion town.
Whenever I meet people out here the first thing I ask them is if they've ever had a deer incident.
Almost everyone I've met has.
But to them it's not a big deal, and they think it's funny that I'm so fascinated with their deer stories.
Friday's show was a lot of fun.
I performed at Concordia College in Moorhead,MN.
I was kind of worried about the show at first because I was told that the show was going to be held at a chapel and that students might be sensitive to certain material.
But when I got to the college it turned out the chapel was very un-chapel like.
There were no crosses, priests, or nuns there.
Everyone at the school told me that just about all of the performers who come to their school get freaked out when they are told that the show is at a chapel.
When I did my hour I cursed like I normally do, and do everything that I normally do
but
I just didn't do my new cock jokes.
Friday, February 04, 2005
I'm back in Minnesota today. I drove back earlier, from North Dakota.
I did shows at Minot State University and the University of North Dakota.
It was 40 degrees there yesterday which is abnormal for North Dakota this time of year.
People were wearing flip flops, because to them 40 degrees is a heat wave.
Luckily no angry deer leaped at my car rental during the drive back to Minnesota
but
I did see a few dead deer on the side of the road.
I saw dead animals in the middle of the road too.
I have no idea what they were though.
I'm convinced that this will make the leaping deer even angrier.
They're probably outraged about the death of their friends.
So now every leap will be filled with fury and revenge.
I'm screwed.
I have to figure out a way to communicate with the deer and let them know that I wasn't the one who killed their friends on the highway.
Tonight I'm performing at a chapel.
That should be interesting...
Tuesday, I was at a bar.
Tonight, I'm at a chapel.
I did shows at Minot State University and the University of North Dakota.
It was 40 degrees there yesterday which is abnormal for North Dakota this time of year.
People were wearing flip flops, because to them 40 degrees is a heat wave.
Luckily no angry deer leaped at my car rental during the drive back to Minnesota
but
I did see a few dead deer on the side of the road.
I saw dead animals in the middle of the road too.
I have no idea what they were though.
I'm convinced that this will make the leaping deer even angrier.
They're probably outraged about the death of their friends.
So now every leap will be filled with fury and revenge.
I'm screwed.
I have to figure out a way to communicate with the deer and let them know that I wasn't the one who killed their friends on the highway.
Tonight I'm performing at a chapel.
That should be interesting...
Tuesday, I was at a bar.
Tonight, I'm at a chapel.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
I'm in North Dakota today and tomorrow.
The show I did last night went well. It was for SW Minnesota State University at a laid back bar.
There are a lot of deer crossing signs out here and that creeps me out.
Because in the picture the deer looks like it's leaping.
That would suck to have pictures of you leaping on a highway.
I would be pissed, if I were a deer.
I would be sure that when I crossed the highway I was leaping.
Only I would be extra flamboyant with my leap, because I would feel the need to give people what was advertised in the picture.
Do deer travel in herds?
I hope not.
I don't want to cross paths with a herd of angry leaping deer.
I don't think they travel in herds though.
I think that's buffalo...or cows...or Saint Bernards.
The show I did last night went well. It was for SW Minnesota State University at a laid back bar.
There are a lot of deer crossing signs out here and that creeps me out.
Because in the picture the deer looks like it's leaping.
That would suck to have pictures of you leaping on a highway.
I would be pissed, if I were a deer.
I would be sure that when I crossed the highway I was leaping.
Only I would be extra flamboyant with my leap, because I would feel the need to give people what was advertised in the picture.
Do deer travel in herds?
I hope not.
I don't want to cross paths with a herd of angry leaping deer.
I don't think they travel in herds though.
I think that's buffalo...or cows...or Saint Bernards.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
I'm in Minnesota today to start off my college tour.
For months I've been scared to come out here because I heard it gets really cold in February.
But it's actually warmer here than on the east coast.
It's a good thing I didn't rent that Saint Bernard dog like I had planned on doing.
That would have sucked.
Those dogs are huge.
But they have a stash of liquor...
For months I've been scared to come out here because I heard it gets really cold in February.
But it's actually warmer here than on the east coast.
It's a good thing I didn't rent that Saint Bernard dog like I had planned on doing.
That would have sucked.
Those dogs are huge.
But they have a stash of liquor...
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